The Magina Dialogues

So....I have my 2 kids....Kole turns 5 in August, Ellie turns 2 late July. Both of my kids are at the "exploratory age", if you get my drift. My son has been inquisitive about the difference between boys and girls since Ellie was born because she's completely missing something that he obviosly has. He makes the connection that he is like Daddy, who is, in fact, a man, which is the big version of a boy. Mommy is a woman, the big version of a girl. Ellie is a girl, and he is a boy. Easy right? Well, not so much. You see, way back when he would watch me change Ellie's diaper, he would notice the difference. I try to be honest and upfront about things, as developmentally appropriate as I can be...so I lovingly and honestly said. "Well, my little lovebug, boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina...we are different in that way. That's the way God made us." Sweet, right?

So, now, we've hit a speed bump...I'm at a loss, you see. I sit at the crossroads of not enough information, and too much information...TMI!!!!

Kole now makes the statement, "Boys have make pee out of their penis, girls make pee out of their maginas!" Oh, Lord....well...you see...if you have taken a basic biology class in high school or college, you know this is not at all correct. Us chicks have a whole other department for the pee production, somewhat unrelated to the "magina". So...the last few weeks, I sit and wonder what I should say.

Should I become Professora Penelope Pee Pee Pants and tell him all about the anatomical placement of the urethra? (that would probably create another mispronounced word and he would be declaring that he is peeing out of his "aretha" in the school bathroom! Sorry Ms. Franklin!!!) OR do what I am currently doing and gloss right over it with a quietly defeated, "yes, dear..."

Well, it came up again, and many of you heard what had happened, but this is how the fit hit the shan:
SO we’re at Trader Joes because we have to buy pizza dough. Kole was having a cooking playdate after school and his neighbor friend was coming over to make pizza with him. We’re at the checkout counter and the dialogue is as follows:

Clerk: Hey there, how are you?

Mary: Very good, thanks...

Kole from behind: Hey, Mom....

(meanwhile, Ellie is motioning at the cheese crunchies being scanned...)

Clerk: Did you find everything okay?

Kole from below: Hey, Mommy....

Mary: Yes, just fine, thanks... (turns to Kole) Did you need something, Babe?

(Ellie begins YELLING for the cheese crunchies)

Kole (on his toes with face poking over the counter watching items being scanned): Mom...

Mary: Yeah?

Kole: Did you pee out of your magina back there? (motioning to his behind)

Mary (nervously stammering): uh...we can talk about that at home, honey. We don’t talk about that outside of our home.

(Mary hands Ellie a small doll)

Kole (loudly and emphatically): But I have a penis and you have a magina with pee on it!

(Ellie throws doll across checkstand, and Mary considers running out of the store with the small bit of dignity she has left)

Mary: Kole, let’s ask this nice man for stickers, ok?

Kole to checker: May I have some stickers, please?

Clerk: Here’s bunch...and a little extra for your poor mom...(grinning, holding back large amounts of screaming laughter...)

Kole: Mom, you have those stickers for your magina....

Mary takes a sticker and gently applies it to her sons mouth and hands the remaining stickers to Ellie hoping she’ll eat one and inadvertently stick her mouth to itself, and shuffles out of the store thanking the clerk very graciously as she leaves)

Clerk: Have fun with that!

Mary: yeah.....good times....