Random clicks and hums with a side of throat clearing

You know, it's not the big things that make being a stay-at-home-mom so difficult. I can live through days of caring for children with stomach flu while having the stomach flu myself. Or dealt with a major diarrhea explosion in a nasty VD infested gas station bathroom on the interstate in the middle of nowhere with 1 diaper left that's missing a tab. I've nursed while potty-training, been humiliated when my preschooler accidentaly knocked a tiny toddler off the top of a slide at the playground, survived never-ending plane trips with a screaming 18-month old who won't stop kicking the seat in front of her. I've earned my little kid badges, people. I've seen many crisis situations, heard A LOT of screaming, and have seen the ER plenty'o'times.
But do you know what drives me to the brink and makes me want to find the nearest bridge to take a flying leap from?

MOUTH NOISE! That's right! MOUTH NOISE!

As of late, everytime my family sits down to eat the adoring made-with-love meal I have lovingly prepared, my son involuntarily fills the atmosphere with unconscious lip-popping, or tongue clicking, or humming ( both the inhale and exhale varieties....so that it's NON-STOP!!!). And if I'm lucky, we'll have an extremely hazy smoggy day and his sinuses and throat are aggrivated. So, inbetween the "hmm hmmm hmmmmmmm,uhmm, hummmm, *slurp*, *click, *glook*.....hmmm, hmmm, hmmhmhmhmhh,haoummmm, *phsct*, *shhhhhocktp*" I get an endearing glottal spasm, with mouth full of food, of course.
It's making. me. CRAZY!
And the funny thing is...he has no idea he's even doing it. It's kinda like taking a person by the back of the head, and smashing his face into the wall over and over, and having no inclination that you might, in fact, be hurting someone. My son has no clue that he is slowly performing the most perfectly suited form of Chinese Water torture techniques on me, poor ol' mama.

I'm sure I'll be writing to you from a padded room at the Casa de Locos after breakfast tomorrow.