Ahem...Mee! mee! mee!

'Twas the week before Thanksgiving,
And inside of my house,
Seems like everyone’s yelling
At me, like my spouse!
The toddler is clung to my side without break,
And with every “sweet” chirp of her mouth, my head aches.
The children just wrestle and whine everyday,
So I moan and I sigh, “Calgon, take me away!”
They’re hungry, then thirsty, and now they want more.
One trips on the other, and heads hit the floor.
“My boo-boo! My boo-boo! “”Hey, that cheese is mine!”
“ No, it’s mine!” “No, it’s mine!” “No, it’s mine!” “No it’s mine!”
It takes a small act of my Lord up on high,
To get them to finish, and put them outside.
They run and they climb and they argue nonstop,
And my last tiny nerve feels like it’s going to POP!
We have to clean up, and now, just for starters,
They both manage to make washing hands SO much harder!
There are errands to run, and groceries to buy,
Oil to change, clothes to wash, and to dry,
Clothes in the millions are heaped on my bed,
Tonight I must fold ‘til I fall over dead.
There’s too many bills, I try not to stress,
But when I look at our desk, oh my Lord, it’s a mess…
Now a diaper to change and then juice on the floor,
There a mess on the rug, and some ink on the door.
I just cleaned the cat box, and of course, no surprise,
Both cats take a dump, close to Texas in size.
We need a vacation, we’re completely burnt out.
If I hear one more whine, I’m just gonna pass out.
So friends, I am sorry, feel bad for complaining.
I have to be thankful, and stop belly-aching.
I have much to be thankful for, I am quite aware .
But I’m up to my eyeballs, and I just had to share!

So I’ll swallow my words, hold my breath, count to 10,
Hug my kids and my hubby and do it over again.
Sometimes I ask “Why me? Don’t these people have ears?”
I think I’ve repeated the same thing now for years!”
But that’s normal, that’s life, it’s all part of the game.
And I’m sure next Thursday will be more of the same.
The beautiful chaos that I call “My Life”
Makes me thankful that I am a mother and wife.

Just pass me my turkey, be kind with the gravy,
I’d love more whipped cream on my pie, are you crazy?!?
Someone else watch my kids, a nap I will take!
The grandparents are here, let them play 'til hips break.

Take joy in your chaos, it’s time now to give,
Many thanks for the crazy ol’ lives that we live!

Look, I work at Speedy Lube! Seeeeeee!

SO, my kids go to bed early, and lately, my hubby goes into the bedroom to fufill the little fantasies in his head. NO....not that... He wants to be a DJ when he grows up. Apparently this "Director of Engineering" thing for a major worldwide corporation is a dead end job. Being a House Music DJ, working company parties and school carnivals is where his future is, you see.

So, in any case, I'm left in the living room alone with the tivo to do as I please..and honestly, cleaning is not what I want to do. My nightly routine is as follows.

1. Get jammies on
2. Find the biggest bowl in the house
3. Pull a pomegranate out of the fruit bowl
4. Tear the buhjeezuz out of the fruit, sucking each seed and drop of juice while watching whatever I please with out stopping to explain household minutia regarding trivial topics and why the universe works the way it does in our house.

Yup. pomegranates...LUV. THEM. They are so tasty, and within each leathery purse of red pleasure (STOP THAT!) is a mini-vacation. It takes you a on a different journey everytime. Through membranes and crevices and protective bitter bulges lie the most amazing pockets of red velvet love.(SERIOUSLY...KNOCK IT OFF!) So immaculate and pristine are these little berries, and your mouth explodes with this divine high after shoving 30 of those little prizes in your mouth at once. YUM!

But, there is a downside to thise pleasurable experience. Unfortunately, somebody is going to suspect something after they see it....it's everywhere...under your nails, that is. Black stains....kinda like I've been repairing car transmissions for decades. It's embarassing....People are going to talk. I know they will. "Does that lady touch her kids with those hands? "

I don't care, I love my nightly pomi...it all I got, besides the bedroom DJ anyway.