The Green Banana Rant of 2008

That's it. We've blown it. I'm pretty sure someone's mad at us again. We American's have managed ONCE AGAIN, to piss someone off. Somewhere in the the world today, NOT HERE, but somewhere.... Someone is sitting under a tree on a white sandy beach, feeling the warm tropical breeze on their face, and is peeling back the tender, supple, yellow freckled peels of a soft, sweet BANANA! I dream of those things now. Why you ask? Well, if you're shopping at one of the many glutinous warehouse grocery stores we Americans shop in, you probably have walked over to the produce section to find this long, kelly green, crescent-shaped rocks they are trying to sell to us under the name "Banana". They are charging money for produce that is not edible for a month, if you're lucky. I typically stand there stunned. Stymied that 1) people just grab a bunch of them like normal, and/or 2) that these people are actually able to walk around after enduring stomach cramps from eating too much under-ripe fruit.
I remember as a child, that if I even reached a finger toward a banana that had the slightest green hue on the edges, my mom would scream, "You're going to get a cramp!!!"
I think this is the face of terrorism now. Tropical countries have set course to rue the day we keel over from our green banana stomach cramps, and will be laughing at our weakness. Next it will be green tomatoes.....you think I'm joking...?