Was that me talking?

So, I'm sitting here at the computer, while my daughter is blowing zerberts on my shoulder, mind you, just fascinated to what my typical topics of conversation have been reduced to. Let me brief you on the choice words of wisdom that this mother has uttered just today:

1. Please don't lick things that touch toilets.
2. They don't make tortilla chips flavored like pickles.
3. People at school don't want Christmas Cards on Valentine's day, even on other planets.
4. I guess you can eat it...does it taste rotten?
5. Only your brother touches his own naked butt.
6. Please keep your hands from smearing your boogers onto the car window.
7. Well, if your carrots taste like soap, you probably didn't rinse your hands...
8. Don't put that there, (under breath) even Sue Johanson would advise against it.
9. Why is there juice in the cat bowl and cat food in the toilet?
10. Most princesses cover their boobs. Pull your gown up!


I need a day off.