CATFACE!!!! MEOW!!!

As I get older, I begin to realize how much I don't know about anything. I go back and forth from thinking this is problematic, to thinking that's the way life is. Right now, being stupid is a problem for me. It also doesn't help to realize that nature is absolutely baffling.
It was like this with breast-feeding. You see those madonna-like pictures of mother and child, with the mother lovingly holding her sweet baby to her bosom, and the baby reciprocating that adoring stare...it's so sublime and pure. You think that nature is so beautiful in it's presentation and purpose. But then you actually do the boob-thang, and it's like the most uncomfortable and bizarre thing, and on top of that, PAINFUL process I have ever come across! I even think it's possibly more painful than actual childbirth because the contractions and pushing end in a couple of days, but the nipple pain goes for a month or so STRAIGHT! Ever hitched your tata's up to a live battery charger...YUP! THAT'S THE FEELING RIGHT THERE! Or you can liken it to heating up a skillet of oil to fry eggs, but instead you put your nipples in the pan and fry them instead...YUP! THAT'S THE FEELING RIGHT THERE! But, I digress...

So, my point was to say that nature hurts my head sometimes. In the quest to be a good mother, I planted my first "by-myself" organic garden so that my sweet babies could have the very best and freshest veggies their mom could find...and they would be in our backyard! Sounds great, right? But, alas, I find myself in a heap, whining once again about how nature is so friggin' hard to figure out! I have 3 tomato plants out there...2 beefsteak (keep the gutter comments to yourself) and 1 roma. So, day after day, I watch my baby 'maters grow, and some are growing really big. And I have quite a few, too! My mouth is watering, dreaming of the day I can pick that beautiful 3-pound sucker, slice it up and make a big ol' sandwich with it...oooooooh! I look under one of hose biggun's and there before my eyes is this crazy trail and what looks like burrowing in the bottom of MY 'MATER! AAAH! For days and days I show people my specimen, hoping they can give me the secret password to the perfect organic tomato, yet no one has it! What is wrong with my tomato?! What do I do!?! Do I yank the plants out and start over!? Do I wake up at the crack of dawn and hunt for cutworms and stab 'em through their wormy hearts with a paper clip?! What do I do?!? So after days of research on gardening organic tomatoes, I come across a picture...OMG! It's a tomato butt just like my tomato butt! YAY! What the heck is it? ...read, skim, read...wha? whada? huh? CATFACE?!? My tomatoes have CATFACE! No worms...just a deformity from the original flower due to either extreme temperatures or inconsistent over watering! Well, I guess that's better than worms!
The funny thing to me here is I know I'm getting old, because I've just taken 10 minutes of your life telling you about my tomatoes! What the heck?!? I think you need new friends...I've cleary lost it....